Mom

As I sit and try to think of the right words to write this post, I decide to make it short, not because I don't have enough to say but because my hands are shaking and my lips are quivering and I don't want to type the letters that make it all true.  The first Mother's Day without my Mom.  She passed away during open heart surgery in June.  We weren't expecting it.  We fully thought she would go into recovery and we'd all see her afterwards groggy, with a slight smile on her face.  Then the doctor takes us into the small room that families never want to have to go and the next few minutes are a blur of words and tears and ugly sniffles and my siblings and dad sitting in shock with faces I will never forget.

She was the best mom ever.  She always called me honey.  She loved chocolate and hot fudge and only wanted the icing off the top of the cake.  She was an amazing grandma.  She lied and told the grandkids (all twenty-some of them) that her cookies were home-made and they never were.  She hemmed all my pants that were too long and I still look at those pants every time I wear them and think, "she touched these".  She made me stronger and wiser and more patient.  She made me frugal and (sometimes) funny and hard-working.  She taught me how to be a good mom, and step-mom, for she was that, too.

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I could write on and on but I can't see the screen anymore and I wouldn't know when to stop writing.

My wish for all of you Mothers out there is to hold onto those babies, big or small, and if you are lucky enough to still have your mom, spend as much time as you can with her, ask her all the questions you've ever wanted to know, and about all the advice you've ever wanted her to give you, because someday you might not be able to.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.  I love you.  xoxoxoxo